For those of you trying to lick my sidebar

CAKE.

The moment has come. THE ONE. That you've all been waiting for. It's true.

RECIPES.

All Brazilians can make cake. All Brazilians can make GOOD cake. All Brazilians rock.

Because of their rocky-ness, I also need to say that Brazilians don't usually put oven temperatures or cooking times on their recipes. It's this genetic Brazilian thing where they all know when cakes are done. Actually, I don't think I've EVER seen a recipe with cooking instructions. So I've put guesstimates on everything - just keep checking to see if it's done. You usually know it's ready when you can smell the cake.

I'd say the most common cake layer (including the one shown above in that mouth-watering display of refined sugar) is Pao de Lo (with a ~ over the "a" and an accent over the "o.") It is very moist and sweet. This recipe makes ONE layer - but it's usually used in a 2-4 layer cake.

PAO DE LO

• 1/4 cup of butter
• 1 cup sugar
• 4 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• pinch of salt

Beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time with the salt. Then stir in flour carefully. Bake in a 350 degree oven until done - about 20 minutes? (Add 1/2 cup of baking cocoa or chocolate drink mix like Nesquick to make it a chocolate layer.)

Make a filling and/or topping with either chocolate custard, mousse, whipped cream, or cook a can of sweetened condensed milk with 4 Tbsp. of Nesquick, stirring constantly, until it begins to come away from the pan. (The above picture has two layers - one custard, another mousse. And the topping is just chocolate whipped cream.)

CREAMY COCONUT CAKE

• 1/2 cup flour
• 1 Tbsp. baking powder
• 2 cans sweetened condensed milk
• 4 egg yolks
• 1 cup milk
• 1 cup ricotta cheese
• 2 cups freshly grated coconut
• 1 Tbsp. vanilla

In a blender, blend everything but the flour and baking powder for five minutes. Add flour and baking powder slowly. Pour in a greased, floured pan and microwave on high for ten minutes. Let rest five minutes before turning out of the pan.

For a topping, cook 1 cup of toasted coconut with 1 cup of water and 4 Tbsp. of sugar. Pour on top of the cake.

CRAZY CHOCOLATE CAKE ("Negra Maluca")

Mix and bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes:

• 3 cups flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup oil
• 3 eggs
• 1 Tbsp. baking powder
• 1 cup boiling water
• 1 cup chocolate milk mix (like Nesquik)

When done, poke top of cake with a fork all over the place. Pour a full glass of chocolate milk over it and make sure the cake soaks it all up. Refrigerate for a few hours. Don't forget to make a filling or topping! Brazilians NEVER leave their cakes dry.

STRAWBERRY TEMPTATION

• 1 Tbsp. baking powder
• 6 eggs
• 2 cups sugar
• 3 cups flour
• 1 cup chocolate drink mix like Nesquick
• 1 cup water
• 2 cups oil

Beat the egg whites and reserve. Beat sugar and yolks well and then add the rest. Fold in egg whites. Bake at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes. Once cooled, slice the cake into two layers. (The layers should be thin.)

FILLING:

• 1 can sweetened condensed milk
• 1 liter of milk
• 1 envelope of unflavored gelatin
• 1 cup water
• 1 cup whipped cream
• 1 box of strawberries
  

Beat in a blender the gelatin and water, then add everything but the whipped cream. Fold in the whipped cream. Top cake with chocolate and strawberries.

Let me know if you make something - I want to hear your results!

In which I try to be like Ben

I have a brother-in-law. (I know. Shocker.) But what's REALLY cool is that my brother-in-law can COOK. And when I say cook, I mean createthemostdeliciousthingseverconcoctedbythefoodgods. Plus he's a doctor. (Sorry, ladies, he's married.)

Over Christmas, Ben made us homemade potstickers. They were so deliciously yummy that they have haunted by daydreams ever since.

We don't have Chinese food here. Or Costco, which is almost as good.

So yesterday I decided to re-create Ben's Chinese miracle.

The ingredients: (do you love how I'm trying to be like the Pioneer Woman? As Emily of LM Montgomery would say, I am a humble alcolyte bowing before the altar of my priestess. But I tried.)

Olive oil, fresh ginger, garlic, soy sauce, pepper, salt, and cabbage. Also pork, but I had already cut it up before I thought to take a picture.

First things first. Chop the cabbage - I did half a head - and set aside in a bowl. Sprinkle with about two tablespoons of salt and let sit for half an hour. The salt will draw out the water in the cabbage. (It's MAGIC.)

Squeeze out the water and put back in the bowl. Add a package of pork, cut into pieces. (Even better would be ground pork, but I don't have that luxury.)

Now for the flavor! You can vary these according to taste (this is just me):

2 cloves of garlic
A whole stick of grated ginger (I loooooooove ginger)
1 tsp. of pepper
About 2 tablespoons of olive oil and soy sauce, each

I bet green onions would be good too, but I didn't have any on hand.

Inhaling the ginger is a must:


Mix them together and it should look something like this:

Now for the fun part! Place a large spoonful of the mixture on a wonton wrapper and wet the edges with water. Then fold over and seal. Try to press all of the air out! Did I say fun? I mean time-consuming ...

(For those familiar with this beloved pais o' mine, these aren't real wonton wrappers. It's pastel dough - the closest I can get to the real thing. And I chose big wrappers so I wouldn't have to fold potstickers for hours on end.)

Ben fried his potstickers before boiling them, but in the interest of feeling better about myself, I skipped the frying.

And it turned into a sticky soup of wonton guts:

Fry them for a few minutes on each side - WHO TOLD YOU TO DO OTHERWISE?!

After nicely browned, plop them in a pot of boiling water. They're ready when the dough turns translucent - about ten minutes.

I tried to duplicate Ben's magical potsticker sauce by combining grated ginger, garlic, and soy sauce. CLOSE ENOUGH.

You don't get any pretty finished product picture, because we ate them.

Make a meal of it with fried rice, a salad with mandarin oranges, and egg drop soup.

Soup recipe:

Boil a piece of ginger in a few cups of chicken broth and 1 clove of minced garlic. The longer you boil, the stronger the ginger flavor. Right before serving, take out the ginger and crack an egg over the soup, slightly stirring it to get that "stringy" effect.

Not only is this the most delicious meal EVER, but it impresses. Now go Asian!

Ghetto Cheerios

Wow, who knew so many of you were interested in how to make third-world Cheerios? I should add a disclaimer that they don't taste all that much like the real deal. They're made with oatmeal, good for the pincer grasp, and disintegrate well in little mouths. That's about where the similarities end.

And I have to add that I must really like you guys - because Mr. Squishy isn't quite old enough for these yet, and I normally don't go to so much work for my children who have teeth.

So let's get started, Mom!

First you grind 1 cup of oats superfine - my grinder is sitting in my mother-in-law's basement right now, so we use the blender.

Shaking the blender around to get all the oats is half the fun.


Mix it with:

another cup of oats
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. vanilla (optional)
3 Tbsp. oil of your choice (I use soy)
1/2 mashed banana or 1/4 cup applesauce for consistency (we don't have applesauce here, either - just thought I'd throw that in as decoration for my pity party)

It should look like moist pie crust.

Now SLOWLY add milk (I use formula - you can use breast milk if you want, but don't use regular milk unless the baby is over one year old.) Add it a few tablespoons at a time until the dough comes together.

Now you're ready to roll! A lot. This is like 1/3 of the batch:

My rolling helpers soon got bored and pursued other interests. I don't blame them.

You can also make 'sticks' using the same dough.

Bake balls at 350 degrees for 5-8 minutes, sticks for 20-30.

Wow! They look like little meatballs. Mmmmmm.

My favorite cracker recipe has wheat in it, so I haven't tried it on Mr. Squishy yet. But it is as follows:

3 cups oatmeal

2 cups whole wheat flour

1 cup wheat germ

3 Tbsp. sugar

3/4 cup oil or melted butter

1 cup water

Mix, roll thin, cut into squares or rectangles, and back at 350 for 15-20 minutes.

And a few curious minds were inquiring about freezing baby food. Quite simple - just puree the food (or leave chunks in it for older babies) and put in an ice cube tray.

Then just put in a freezer bag and you're set! Simply take out a few cubes at a time, defrost, and it's DINNER TIME!

But in case you wanted to know, I am SO buying a huge economy bag of Cheerios when we move back.

Kick me while I'm down, why dontcha

So no one likes the 6:00 dinner rush, right? That sudden glance at the clock, the mad panic as you realize that your man will be home soon, and you haven't a clue what to feed him. Your offspring realize this at the same time, and commence a rousing chorus of "Food! Glorious Food!" - except ten decibels higher and dragging out three syllables for every one. Staring at the fridge for a few minutes provides no flash of inspiration, and you know for a fact that the pantry doesn't have a single chocolate chip left to give your brian a boost.

I know! My friend The Internet. He's always good for times like this.

You wade your way through the toys to the computer room, shut the door in your children's faces and type in "quick meals."

And my face falls.

Every. Single. Recipe. Calls for stuff I can't get.

Cream of mushroom soup
Cream of chicken soup
Cream of anything soup
Sour cream
Kidney beans
Salsa
Cheddar cheese (really - they don't have it.)
Shake n Bake
Bisquick
Lemon juice (they don't even have lemons here!)
Tortillas
Olives
Refried beans
Taco seasoning
Nutmeg
Ginger
Thyme
Worchestchire sauce
A1
Syrup
Peanut butter
Shortening

... and the list goes on ....

Basically, every time you open a box or a can to help make dinner. Think of me. I can't.

Feel sorry for me. Feel very, very sorry for me.

There are no words for these

What's the perfect ending to a perfect Sunday? Getting home from a (fabulous, wonderful, uplifting) fireside to a clean house, dinner on the table and THESE:



Which you then smother with THIS:

And get to kiss HIM:

Get the recipe here. My Man not included.

And why am I doing this? Because ....

MWAU-HAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!

(Thanks, Randi!)

Be jealous, one and all

This is my brother. He makes pancakes. He makes gooooood pancakes.

He is 17. He rocks. 

If your brother wants to make you pancakes, or if you want to make your brother pancakes, or if YOU just want pancakes, make PUMPKIN pancakes.

Mix the dry:

2 cups flour

2 T brown sugar

1 T baking powder

1 tsp. each of cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg

1 tsp. salt

Mix in the wet:

1 3/4 cups milk

1/2 cup pumpkin

1 egg

2 T oil, melted butter, or applesauce

If you're super awesome, like he is, make APPLE SYRUP.

Boil: 

1 3/4 cup apple cider

1/4 cup brown sugar

Stir in and simmer for five minutes:

2 Tablespoons cornstarch

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. nutmet

Then cook 'em up, serve 'em, and raise your eyes to the heavens, praising the good Lord for little brothers.

Food Storage Cake

Betty Crocker calls it "Chocolate Snack Cake," but I'm re-dubbing it. All the ingredients are pantry standards, so you can file it away for the next natural disaster. I made it for a presidency meeting this weekend, and it was so moist and spongy and chocolate-y delish that it screamed to be blogged. Best of all, you can mix it by hand - minimal clean-up! My kind of cake.

Mix:

1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1/4 c. baking cocoa
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt

Mix: (I mixed it all in a 1 cup measuring cup so I didn't have to clean another bowl!)

1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp. white or cider vinegar
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Pour oil mixture and 1 cup of cold water into the flour mixture. Stir until well blended and pour into a greased 9" round pan or 8" square pan. Back 30 to 35 minutes at 350 degrees.

Make it for FHE tonight!

The Best of Both Worlds

Something about Sunday makes me want to bake. I get that from my daddy. Almost every Sunday evening found our family with a plate of warm cookies and a jug of ice-cold milk.

So today we made the Best Chocolate Chip Cookies Ever. I know many CLAIM to have this recipe, but, in fact, WE do. Sorry. We got it from a family in Cincinnati, who brought the aforementioned cookies to a ward picnic. A year later, My Man and I were still talkin' about those dang cookies. I finally just emailed them for the recipe. And now they're all the rage in South America.

I'm feeling magnanimous today, and have decided to let you all partake in the goodness that is empty calories as well. Don't be fooled by the absence of any surprise ingredients. They are just plain THAT good.


Cream:
4 sticks of butter, softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 cups brown sugar

Add:
3 eggs
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. vanilla
6 cups of flour

Stir in 4 cups of chocolate chips (I like to do half milk, half semi-sweet). Using a 1/4 c. measuring cup to scoop out the dough, cook 6-8 on a sheet, 350 degrees, for about 12 minutes. You don't want these cookies to brown at all - take them out when they look just barely done and let them sit on the tray for a couple minutes.


The recipe makes 36 huMUNGous cookies or 70 normal-sized ones. (I once made over 100 bite-sized ones for a party.) It can be halved; to half an egg, simply mix it up in a bowl and measure out two tablespoons. Still, I recommend making the full batch. They freeze excellently.

So the title of today's post suggests that I will give you something from Brazil - and you would assume correctly. The most common sweets in this beloved pais o' mine are brigadeiros. You will find them at every single birthday party and wedding in the country. My sister absolutely fell in love with them while she was visiting - and my brother-in-law Brent won the dairy division in his county fair with 'em.

Pour one can of sweetened condensed milk in a small pot and add 2 heaping tablespoons of chocolate milk mix (like Nesquick or something - you can add more if you like them really chocolatey) and 2 tablespoons butter or margarine. Cook on low heat, stirring constantly, until you can see the bottom of the pan - it'll take a few minutes. Pour the mixture on a plate and let cool completely - put it in the fridge if you're in a hurry. Once it's cooled, butter your hands really well and roll the mixture into little balls - about a teaspoon at a time. Then roll in sprinkles. Voila! You're done.

This recipe has a million and one variations. Skip the chocolate altogether and roll in coconut. Put a strawberry in the middle or a piece of caramel. Use strawberry milk mix instead of chocolate. The only limit is your imagination.

....

Diet? What diet? ....

Out to lunch

I hate lunch. What a terrible meal. I can never think of what to make. Dinner is hard enough. Breakfast, thanks to General Mills, Quaker, and Post, is easy and requires no cooking or thought. But lunch? I'm always at a loss. Even in high school I was never big on the meal. I usually just had a bagel and a piece of fruit.

I've never been one for sandwiches, to be frank. I only like sandwiches if they're really chic - cool sauces, lettuce, tomato, onion, banana peppers, etc. Essentially, Quiznos at home. But it's a lot of work, and frankly, a PAIN to stock all the chic stuff. Plus, my kids somehow inherited my elitist view on sandwiches, and they don't eat 'em. Only peanut butter and grilled cheese - which I can't (or, at least, SHOULDN'T) serve every day.

So I usually go with leftovers. I LOVE leftovers. Problem: my kids won't eat 'em. It's like they SEE me heat stuff in the microwave and automatically turn up their little noses, even if they devoured it the day before. Sometimes I trick them - I'll heat up leftovers in a pot, maybe add a few things here and there, and voila! fresh lunch.

But what if we don't have any leftovers? What THEN? ... I refuse to cook more than one meal a day. Sorry. I'm just not that woman. And what else is there to eat? PBJ, grilled cheese, hot dogs, mac n' cheese, and leftovers. That's pretty much our menu for lunch. Hopefully there aren't any health authorities reading my blog ...

Lately I've taken to making a huge pot of good ole Brazilian beans and freezing small portions, then heating them up when the lunch fairy fails me. I figure - hey, Brazilians eat beans and rice twice a day, every day, right? So if my kids have it three times a week for lunch, no biggie, right? Right?

What do YOU serve for lunch?

Sooooo yummy

So last night for FHE treat I made a cake that I will dub "Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Cake." It's not a very inventive name, cuz that's exactly what it tastes like. (At least to me, who cannot remember the last time I had one, considering they don't have them in Brazil.) The basic recipe is Betty Crocker's, with some modifications by me. Try it, you'll love it.

2 1/4 cups flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup Nesquik or some kind of chocolate milk mix (if you use cocoa, increase the sugar)
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 1/4 - 1 3/4 cups milk (I'm not sure exactly how much I put in)
3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla
3 large eggs

Mix all ingredients together with an electric mixer for at least five minutes. Pour into greased, floured pans. Two 9" pans for 25-30 minutes, three 8" pans for 30-35 minutes. Take it out when a toothpick comes out slightly damp. You want this cake to be MOIST. Cool for ten minutes in the pans and an hour out of the pans. Then frost with the following:


3 cups powdered sugar
1/3 cup butter OR peanut butter, if you want it REALLY peanut butter-y
2 tsp. vanilla
1/3 baking cocoa
4 Tbsp. milk (you'll need a little more if you used peanut butter)

Like I said. Soooooooo yummy.