I hate moving.
Don't ask where, because we have no official answer. Don't ask when, either. We don't know. But we're moving.
My Man's contract ends the 30th of June - and with it, our visas. We have to leave the country within the next few months. THAT much we know.
How do you wrap up almost five years?
I want to move back home. I miss the States. I miss ... so much. I miss Americans. I miss convenience. I miss fall. I miss the food. I miss English. I miss quality. I miss not-needy church members. (Though they have plenty of those in the States, too, of course.) I miss an 8-5 work day. I miss my husband.
But as much as I want to move back, I don't want to leave.
I will miss my friends desperately. They have been my family in every way possible. They have seen me at my most vulnerable. Seen me through floods of tears and countless trials and difficulties - and joy, too. I have grown up here. Literally.
How can I leave?
There are so many things to do. My throat gets tight and my heart and belly go cold when I think about it. The back of my neck gets all tense and I turn into this fluttery, panicky mess.
My friends feel it. They are just as desperate as I am. Which means that there is always some get-together, party or visit happening. At my house, of course. (More stress.)
My young women feel it, too. They are over all the time - Tuesday we had a huge youth party - trying to savor every minute we have.
And then there are THINGS. I have to get going on our Brazilian scrapbook - remembrances of our time here. I don't want to forget anything. And then our regular scrapbooks. I'm four months behind on Da Boyz' "picture books," and I NEED to catch up before we move. After the move ... I just know it won't happen. It's a fact.
And so, so much more.
I figured it out. It's not that I need more hours in the day - I just need more hours BY MYSELF. My kids just need to take longer naps. Eureka! Or sleep in later in the morning.
And then there's my MAJOR personality flaw. When I get super stressed and there's too much to do, I get tied up in knots and can't do ANYthing. Which is extremely effective. Because procrastination is a great time management tool.
*sigh* I just want to fast forward like four months until it's all over. That okay?