Thursday, March 19, 2009

Open letter to everything below my chin

Dear Body,
Hey, babe. We haven't spoken in a while. I know I've pretty much ignored you lately. Kids are sick and all, and exercising is on the bottom of the prioity list. YOU know how it goes ....

We've been through a lot together. Lots of scrapes and cuts and even a couple dislocated knees. Surgeries and illnesses - some allergies, some infections. Good stuff too. Some crazy thrill rides, truly divine food and getting married - THAT was fun.

I know I get mad at you sometimes. We've had our share of disagreements over acne and potbellies and thunder thighs. But really - I like you.

You let me run and swim and bike and roll around on the floor with my kids. I know I too often take you for granted. Sorry about that.

Best of all, you let me give birth to three glorious sons. You really pulled through on that one. It was hard work, but we did it together and brought forth my loves without medical assistance. GOOD. JOB.

I also have to say I especially appreciated the fact that you held off on that whole menstruating thing while I breast fed. A solid year and nine months without PMS is A-OK with me.

BUT.

Mr. Squishy is only nine months old. He is STILL NURSING. So can I just say
WHAT THE HECK?!?!??!

I had my suspicions when my face broke out this week. And then I mysteriously gained four pounds and my pants got tight. Oh, and then the whole VERY WEEPY AND SUDDENLY DECIDED I WAS MAD AT MY MAN FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER. Yeah, that.
And then this morning. THIS MORNING.

You betrayed me, Body. How could you do this to me?

I'm hurt. Very, very hurt.

Especially when there's no chocolate in the house.

Begrudgingly yours,

That Girl

35 comments:

Kristina P. said...

First, love the new header.

And secondly, I didn't know that women often don't get periods when they are breastfeeding. I don't know a lot of stuff.

Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

My sincerest condolences on the "no chocolate" If we were neighbors, I would bring you some in a heartbeat.

gina said...

I never have periods when I am breastfeeding either; I lOVE it. Wonder why it's different for you this time?

Alisa said...

I had a similar problem with my IUD. No period for 3 years and then all of a sudden I'm completely irrational, the kids can do no right and my husband was just never home for me to be mad at. I thought I was losing my mind until the reality hit me. Oh, so that's what I've been missing. Thank goodness. So sorry this is happening to you. I have a chocolate cake in my fridge that I would happily share if you were closer, or even in the same country. Hang in there.

SO said...

My periods only stayed away a few months of my breastfeeding. Now however they are non-existent with my IUD. I LOVE IT. I hope you get some chocolate soon.

templework said...

I'd think your DH would know that chocolate ranks right up there with wheat and water for Emergency Preparedness...bet he does NOW! (a whole year's supply!)
giggle

((HUGS))

Korbi said...

Oh, so sorry! AHHH!!! Same thing happened to me, nursing and all, and voila! Surprise, although not a very fun surprise huh?

Shelley said...

I'm like the ones before, mine didn't stay away either. So sorry and (I feel like I need to just say ditto to those before), get some chocolate and fast!

Perpetual Mommy Exhaustion said...

Cheer up! It could be worse. When my second was nine months old and I got all those symptoms it was not because my periods were coming back, as I thought. Nope. It was a tiny princess growing in me. I'm glad to have her, but at the time I really would have preferred PMS.

Rachel said...

The same thing happened to me! With my first two I didn't have a period for 2 years. (they were really close together) and then with my 3rd I got it when he was 7 months old. I don't get it. And I don't like it. I'm sorry.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Remember that chocolate for your "giveaway"? There are no rules with PMS...

janae said...

After I got pregnant ON BIRTH CONTROL while nursing FULL TIME (she was 6 months old and hadn't started solids quite yet), I changed my whole attitude about periods. Now I cheer every time I start one. Seriously. Sometimes I want to blog about it - "I started my period! That means I'm not pregnant! YAY!!"

I can't believe your body doesn't have periods while nursing. So jealous. I mean happy for you. :) My mom and grandma were like that. Not I. Six weeks after giving birth they start all over again. If I had lived 100 years ago I would have had 18+ kids, all 9 months apart!

The Prices said...

At least you made it to nine months...I only made it to FOUR months with mine before THAT MORNING came.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

So now would probably be a great time to share the Always slogan for their feminine products...Have A Happy Period. Seriously?!?! Hope you feel better soon!

DeNae said...

Seven years, baby! Seven years on Depo Provera, and NO evil girl weeks. Then we decided we really were done with the baby making, I had my tubes tied, no need for the DP, and - BAM!! Back in the game. With two hormonally insane daughters to boot. I'm grieving with you. I really am.

(With sincerest modesty, may I invite you over to my place to read a post called "...and don't let the tent flap hit you on the way out". It's all about the Israelite women and their "girl weeks". Undoubtedly a poor substitute for chocolate, but it might help you find your smile...)

Jennie said...

Oh, so very sorry, that stinks!! Love the new header, what a cute family you have!!

Heather of the EO said...

This was a very nice letter.
Considering.

Melanie J said...

Yeah. That's what happened me too. But I try to love my second child even though it's his fault.

Destinee said...

Oh, the betrayal!
And I seriously love that you wrote "WHAT THE HECK" so big and red! I would have laughed but I've been there too. And it is just not funny.
Love the letter though!

Real Mom, Real Life said...

Yeah -- my body has a mind of its own.

All I can say is CHOCOLATE BABY!

Oh -- and love the new header.

Carla said...

That is a bummer for sure . . . but then again, I'd trade you ANYDAY so I could have one of those weeks . . . yes there is a story to that, but alas, it is still a bummer on your end.

Oh bummer.

especialmente no verao.

The Lawlor's said...

Hi,

I don't know what to say other than puffed wheat squares is SO good. It is literally puffed wheat that you can buy in a bag at the grocery store.

Here is a recipe:

1/3 cup butter
1/2 cup syrup (corn syrup)
1 cup brown sugar
2 Tbsp. cocoa
1 tsp vanilla

*Boil (I'd say a couple of minutes). Pour over 12 cups puffed wheat.

By the way, what led you to Brazil?

Katrina said...

That stinks. I'm still period free 8 months post--I'm hoping it stays this way for a while yet!

Jen said...

My condolensces. I hate those four pounds.

Deb said...

Yikes. I've been there, my friend...

Kazzy said...

I just wish you could flick a switch (that didn't require surgery) when you turned 40-ish and were done with childbearing and you could be done with the "remember you are a girl" stuff.

Bridget said...

Girl, at least you got 9 months. I got my period back TWO WEEKS after my postpartum bleeding ceased. I thought I'd get at least 6 months. But I didn't even get ONE month. And I breastfed Paige EXCLUSIVELY for 6 months (not a single bottle) and she wasn't completely weaned until 18 months. My period came like clockwork the entire time. What's with THAT?!

Bonnie said...

I never got one month break from that lovely time. After 5 kids, I knew not to even hope.

rad6 said...

ok, so I think that the longest I ever went was 6 months... consider yourself lucky! Ok, and guess what, you can get pregnant while breastfeeding and not having a period!!! Oh yes, I found that out when my first was 3 months old. Yep, 12 months apart... so really I guess I went over 2 years without seeing my sweet relative, Aunt Flo! Oh the good 'ol days!
Love your letter, very cute and creative!!

Abra said...

way too freaking funny I LOVE YOU! I always know because I get super duper CRANKY. (I'm talking CRAAN-KY!) Only it's afterwards when IT happens that I'm like "ahhhhh, that's why I threw my blackberry across the floor and it shattered into a million pieces... I'm not REALLY crazy... phew!"

Elizabeth said...

I usually get 6-8 months with no period during my year of nursing. You really get the whole year? Geez, lucky!

However, *I* am lucky in that I just get some zits and a little crankiness (now) and some cramps. I used to get HAPPIER right before and during my period. Don't know why. I also don't get cranky when I'm sick. (Well, sometimes I do NOW, but Moms aren't allowed to be sick -- or at least take it easy when they are -- so that's probably why.)

Be thankful. You can have more babies. (That's what I tell myself, anyway. :D)

Pistolmom said...

Very fun post! I needed that :)

www.mytitleofliberty.blogspot.com

Jocelyn Christensen said...

Dear That Girl:

Sometimes Us Bodies have a mind of our own. What can I say?

Sincerely feeling your pain.

-That Body

Kimberly said...

Right now my period is two days late. Just to mess with my head because we had the flu last month and there's no way...

...well...ALMOST no way...err...

...excuse me, I think I need to write my body a letter too...

The Motherboard said...

I cried buckets when my crazylady came back-- and I was still nursing Moxie. So.Not.Fair.