Monday, April 27, 2009

Grumpity grump grumpy

It all started with the cheerful lady.

I'd already noticed her - she was grinning at everyone while we boarded the plane like being a glorified waitress was the best job in the world. (There. Now I've offended all the flight attendants out there.)

She kept calling everyone "doll" and "sweetheart" until I actually wanted to give her the finger.

(Pssst. I've never done that before. But last night I really WANTED to.)

Mr. Squishy was awesome. He grinned and cooed and saluted (he doesn't wave) to everyone in our vicinity and was generally adorable. Then he went right to sleep in my arms and didn't wake up til we landed.

My own personal miracle.

And then there was this lady.

She was laughing and talking all night at the Stewardess Gathering Point - which happened to be directly in front of me.

And she was so CHEERFUL. Ugh.

(There. Now I've offended all the cheerful people out there.)

Whatever. We flew, we drove, we got home.

My darling boys were waiting for me with their faces pressed against the window. I almost had to look away, because the sunshine radiating out of their smiles was too bright to behold.

We hugged.

We rolled around on the ground and laughed and tickled and hugged some more.

I really REALLY missed them.

I was almost over the cheerful lady until I walked inside.

And my house - literally - looked like it puked on itself.

The floor was ... ew. The dishes were ... ew. The bedrooms were ... ew.

Not to mention the fact that there is ZERO food in the house. And I do mean zero. No cereal, no eggs, no meat, no bread, no butter, no fruit, no vegetables. Not even a potato. There is milk and condiments in my fridge. Yum. Oh - and no toilet paper or laundry soap either.
What the - ?

And my friend that baby-sat for me this week also took it upon herself to wash every towel, sheet, and piece of clothing in the house. Including My Man's dry-clean-only suit, which is now too small. (Sorry, hun.) Very nice of her, I'm sure. Except that she hung dry everything (even though we have a dryer - maybe she doesn't know how to use it?) and it smells like she didn't let everything completely dry before she took the laundry down.

So now everything in my house reeks of damp, going-to-be-moldy-soon cloth. Whoop-dee-doo.

And I'm tired and cranky and hungry and I want to play with my kids. NOT clean, grocery shop, and do laundry until sun up tomorrow. C'mon - is it REALLY so hard to keep order for six days?

(There. Now I've offended all the baby-sitters out there.)

I know she did an awesome job watching my kids. They love her. She loves them. I trust her with my life; my very heart is embodied in my children.

So tell me to shut up and be grateful that my kids are great and missed me, and quit whining already. Because she had the best intentions, blah blah blah.

But I refuse to stop complaining about the cheerful lady.


janae said...

Man, I hate when people are nice in the way that you don't want them to be nice (washing everything, but doing it wrong), and are not nice in the way you wish (like keeping your house clean). Why waste all the energy doing something that I don't appreciate, when you could use it to do something I'd love??

When we first got married it was a problem for us. Why vacuum when I couldn't care less, and leave the sink a mess when it would mean the world to me for you to clean it?!

KC Mom said...

Oh gosh...well at least you'll never have to worry about the stuff drying out in mold there!
I think you need a Diet'll take a sip for you..:)

Tobi said...

I've traveled a few times without my cute ramlings. I've come to accept that the price of my child free time is the house. Generally when I return the condition of my house resembles that of a recently shaken snow globe. STUFF EVERYWHERE. So instead of being refreshed and happy to be home, I'm a grunt on cleaning patrol for at least two days.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

The worst part about being annoyed with someone who is trying (and sadly failing) to help you but makes things worse is that you feel guilt on top of the great annoyance you feel. Which just makes everything more annoying.

Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

Isn't it weird how too cheerful can be sooo annoying? I leave strict orders on the laundry whenever I leave- as in DO NOT TOUCH IT- I am a laundry nazi- but there are some people ( MIL) who do it to spite me- I am serious.

She tells me to my face that she does as good a job as me, while simultaneously telling me she refuses to treat stains and multiple other infractions. What really gets me, is that I leave enough clothes that she doesn't even have to wash a single thing but she does it to "show me". I guess I should learn and only send two outfits so she has to wash everyday and make sure they are old clothes.

Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

um- sorry for the mini rant :)

Did you find a house?

rad6 said...

This is the most hysterical post I have read in a long time. I think that I am going to file it in front of my journal, and the next time I am having a grumpy day I am going to pull it out and read it. The thing is that it is all about being grumpy and yet it just makes me smile and smile. So there... I guess your grumpies are not so grumpy if they are making people like me just smile.
It's ok to be grumpy I guess as long as you share and put smiles on others' faces... cause guess what then you will have a smile on yours too.
The mildewy laundry does not sound nice though, I hope your babysitter does not read your blog. That could be awkward. :)
Happy GRUMPY day!

HeatherKitts said...

Oh man, I would have freaked! At least the kiddies are still alive :) I know exactly what you mean SIL always does laundry (whose you ask? Good question...not sure. I know it's not ours and I can't picture her hauling her own over here) when she comes over to watch our dog. And she leaves the dryer on the HIGH HEAT setting. Who does that?! That's how I know she's been messing around in my laundry room and I'm SO not a fan. Ugh.

gina said...

Oh, I never let anyone do my laundry except myself. I leave strict instructions "not to worry about it" because laundry is a very personal thing. Who washes a suit? But since you asked me to, I am going to say "quit whining already. Your children were safe and well cared for." There. Does that make you feel better? :)

Melanie J said...

No kidding. An ill-placed cheerful person can really ruin my day.

Megan said...

We call those people cheerleaders. Every thing is a pep rally... I swear that's what happens to the girls who had to wear those silly elastic headbands as babies. (There, now I've offended all the cutesie moms.)

Be grumpy. It's not right, it isn't fair. It's almost not worth the trip except that you had to go. Whistle while you work and all that "happy" stuff. Blah, blah, blah. Thanks for making me cranky... LOL!

Heather of the EO said...

You crack me up. Because I'm SO like this. When I'm tired and stressed, er...anxious out of my mind, I mean...I get so grumpy and cheerful people make me want to scream.

And the messy house and no food and all that? NOT FUN. UP! :)

Melonie said...

Hmmm... I don't even know what to say. Those cheerful types usually get me too - but I also can't stand the incredibly grumpy ones who make it obvious that they are really SO above serving you and it's just pathetic that they have to be there and can't you at least have the courtesy to do something really amazing to make it worth their while so they crack a smile? types. LOL (I've got a great customer service story about killing with kindness - I'll try to post it sometime.)

That said... oy. What a mess. But....are the kids moldy?

If not, then my mom's right - it can always get worse. ;-)

Shantel said...

I am laughing - but I really feel bad. Inside. Deep. Inside.
I am trying not to be to cheery here. lol.....

Deb said...

Cheerful people make me want to give the finger, too. Only I have done it before.

Trust me, it's doesn't feel as good as you'd think.

We once had a well-meaning housekeeper wash our clothes when we were guests at my husband's mother's house. It was winter and Sven had brought several really nice sweaters. They all shrunk to hand-puppet size. Awful. We were in college at the time and didn't have the money to replace them.

DeNae said...

I'm a real believer in moderation in all things, and that includes cheerfulness. I always secretly assume they're a sociopath and the reason they're grinning is because they're picturing me doused in steak sauce and grilled to a golden brown.

And you gotta love moldy clothes. Yep. Been there, done that, had entire civilizations sprout on my leather purses.

Debbie said...

Sometimes you're just not in the mood for too much perkiness. I so understand that!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Is DeNae a crack-up or what?! Okay, so secretly your dilemma gives me selfish joy because I'm leaving town this week for 4 days and I REALLY want my house to fall apart while I'm gone so that the whole world knows that I do a LOT when I am home. Unfortunately, my OCD husband makes everything look a thousand times better than when I do it myself and even though I should be so grateful and thank him for all his hard work, it makes me want to poke his eyes with Q-tips and accuse him of ignoring the kids the whole time I was gone. So, um, anyway, the moral of this comment is: I have issues.

Melissa P said...

Oh, that is so not fun to come home to, especially after a long night. Hopefully after some food and a little laundry things will get better. Good luck with finding a house.

wonder woman said...

I've been in a grumpy mood of late, too. I feel ya, girl. Fortunately, there are any annoyingly cheerful people around for me to want to smack. (Kids aren't annoying when they're cheerful.)

Glad you're home safe. Sorry you have to dive into the deepend of mommyhood right away.

Erin said...

She must not be a mom. We moms are superwomen who can do everything.

I hope you have gotten some housework done, and some time to play with the kids!

Kazzy said...

That is one of the reasons it is so hard to go away... coming back is such a downer when your house has fallen apart. Ugh. So sorry.

Rachel said...

Sometimes the cheerful ones are the worst. Did you have any luck finding a house?

janel said...

Flying with kids (even one) is enough to make anyone insane, hands down. No one knows true jetlag until you fly a major flight with a kid on your lap. I don't even want to talk about the rest of your details. It's more than I can handle mentally.

Kathy @ Real Mom, Real Life said...

I think I would have C.R.I.E.D!

You should have sent Cheerful Lady to the Lavatory for the whole trip so she didn't disturb you!!!

Sorry about your house. I know how you feel. Mine ALWAYS looks like it was puked on.

Shawn said...

Oh, I hate that part! When I travel with my band, my hubby watches things and oh----let me tell you---he doesn't KNOW how to pick up after himself and my little guy---its atrocious!

Welcome home...

SO said...

Stoopid cheerful lady.

And I'm sorry your sitter meant well and screwed up. That's always hard.

Melissa Bastow said...

I hate cheerful people. And messy food-less houses (I wish I could blame that one on my babysitter...)

Barbaloot said...

I won't tell you to stop complaining. As far as I'm concerned, part of baby-sitting is keeping the house livable, not just the occupants alive...?

But at least your kids were happy to see you! :)

Kimberly said...

I can't tell you what I came home to after my trip or you'll hate me. Although, we are almost out of milk. Err.


I think a scream or two could be good for you...

nikkicrumpet said...

I figure if you come home after 6 days and everyone is alive and all their limbs are still attached....VICTORY!