I'd already noticed her - she was grinning at everyone while we boarded the plane like being a glorified waitress was the best job in the world. (There. Now I've offended all the flight attendants out there.)
She kept calling everyone "doll" and "sweetheart" until I actually wanted to give her the finger.
(Pssst. I've never done that before. But last night I really WANTED to.)
Mr. Squishy was awesome. He grinned and cooed and saluted (he doesn't wave) to everyone in our vicinity and was generally adorable. Then he went right to sleep in my arms and didn't wake up til we landed.
My own personal miracle.
And then there was this lady.
She was laughing and talking all night at the Stewardess Gathering Point - which happened to be directly in front of me.
And she was so CHEERFUL. Ugh.
(There. Now I've offended all the cheerful people out there.)
Whatever. We flew, we drove, we got home.
My darling boys were waiting for me with their faces pressed against the window. I almost had to look away, because the sunshine radiating out of their smiles was too bright to behold.
We rolled around on the ground and laughed and tickled and hugged some more.
I really REALLY missed them.
I was almost over the cheerful lady until I walked inside.
And my house - literally - looked like it puked on itself.
The floor was ... ew. The dishes were ... ew. The bedrooms were ... ew.
Not to mention the fact that there is ZERO food in the house. And I do mean zero. No cereal, no eggs, no meat, no bread, no butter, no fruit, no vegetables. Not even a potato. There is milk and condiments in my fridge. Yum. Oh - and no toilet paper or laundry soap either.
What the - ?
And my friend that baby-sat for me this week also took it upon herself to wash every towel, sheet, and piece of clothing in the house. Including My Man's dry-clean-only suit, which is now too small. (Sorry, hun.) Very nice of her, I'm sure. Except that she hung dry everything (even though we have a dryer - maybe she doesn't know how to use it?) and it smells like she didn't let everything completely dry before she took the laundry down.
So now everything in my house reeks of damp, going-to-be-moldy-soon cloth. Whoop-dee-doo.
And I'm tired and cranky and hungry and I want to play with my kids. NOT clean, grocery shop, and do laundry until sun up tomorrow. C'mon - is it REALLY so hard to keep order for six days?
(There. Now I've offended all the baby-sitters out there.)
I know she did an awesome job watching my kids. They love her. She loves them. I trust her with my life; my very heart is embodied in my children.
So tell me to shut up and be grateful that my kids are great and missed me, and quit whining already. Because she had the best intentions, blah blah blah.
But I refuse to stop complaining about the cheerful lady.