So, when I'm in a "let's change the subject" mood, I generally snark my way through revealing, embarrassing information about myself. I've already done poop, pink eye, and cold sores. What's left?
DANDRUFF, of course!
Here's my question for the cosmos: why does dandruff shampoo have to stink to high heaven? And I do mean that literally - I'm sure the Lord himself can tell when I'm using the offensive stuff.
It's like the Dandruff Company Guys are trying to ruin every sense we have.
Everywhere you go, you are surrounded with an oflactory cloud of brain-numbing odor that lasts for days. I'm pretty sure at least five hundred brain cells die with every use. And the burnt tar smell runs down the back of your throat, effectively flavoring everything you eat with a dash of medicinal metal. Good times.
Even if I arrange my hair to hide any tell-tale flakes, my scent arrives before I do.
Sniff, sniff, HACK. "Dude. Do you smell that?"
"That Girl must have dandruff again. Let's run away before she rounds the corner. My nose is already burning."
So let's get going, science. It can't be that hard to create an effective, sweet-smelling cure. My favorite fragrence is Freshly Washed Little Boy, if you don't mind bottling that. Oh, and if you could throw in a few side effects like weight loss and increased memory, that would be great too.