Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Reliving your childhood is a messy process

I cried the first time I read Little Prince "Where the Wild Things Are." I can't sing Ouro Branco the Beatles' "I Will" song without tearing up. Even listening to My Man carry the two of them around like 'a sack o' potatoes' is bound to get me emotional.

They were all intrinsic parts of my childhood.

Another integral part of who I am (in other words, where The Blame lies), was the Brite tapes. They have a whole bunch of products, guaranteed to turn your child into a perfect human being through subliminal messaging and blatant brainwashing. I loved 'em. There's the Safety Kids, who sing and dance their way through avoiding strangers, memorizing phone numbers, what to do if you're lost, etc. There's the Standin' Tall series, which lectures 12 values (such as obedience, work, forgiveness, happiness, and so and so forth) through story-telling and more song and dance. (And if anyone has an extra $149.95, I want the whole set.) There's tapes about loving your family, a whole CD on patriotism, learning to read, and then we've got

It's about Brawny and Shiny Brite, the unstoppable duo out to battle King Sugar, Ms. Grease and Sir Salty with the help of The Big Four (Meat, Milk, Grain, and Fruits and Veggies.) My bestest mommy got me the book and CD (along with the Safety Kids series!) and I've been dying to listen to it. We went to Sao Paulo today, and I decided to take advantage of the fact that my kids couldn't run away for a solid two hours.

People, I cried. I teared up during the Fruit and Veggie rap, but they spilled over during "Junk Food Junkie." AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. It's not like these songs are tear-jerkers, you know?

I think it must be a combination of things. Anything from my early years is a deep emotional tug for me. Plus also I was listening to how "you can't build a body on junk, you're treating it cruuuuuuuuuel" and remembering how many cookies I ate this week.

But I think the numero uno reason is for my own kids.

HOW CAN I RAISE THEM RIGHT?!?!?!!?

I have a college degree in Family Life Education. I am qualified to teach parenting, marriage prep and dealing with family struggles and finances. Truly, it's pre-therapy - educational psychology. BEFORE the problem hits. I have read I-don't-know-how-many-books on how to teach responsibility, how to discipline effectively, how to fill the hours without television. And more.

But none of it teaches you how to REALLY do this job.

I want the world for my children. I want them to grow up to be upright, moral citizens who love me and love their countr(ies), who live 'after the manner of happiness' and enjoy the fulness of God's blessings. I want them to be honest workers - HARD workers. I want them to be grateful. I want them to be forgiving. I want them to be loving and loved, dependable and obedient, clean and courageous.

HOW DO I DO THAT?

I know, I know. I have to be an example. I have to instill in them lasting testimonies. I have to point them to The Source - the TRUE maker of people. I have to do my best, and then hope for the best.

But HOW?

Frankly, by doing everything I can think of. And spending too much money on character-buildings CDs and books.

Shoot, every little bit helps.

2 comments:

Mommadj5 said...

Wow - quite an earful - all good! If any one person has an exact answer to your question they would be the wise old guru at the top of the mountain and be sinfully rich from writing books! Your reflections make me cry also - remembering MY exact same feelings (still have them :-)!)and wondering if I did ok. We must have done something right because you are all of the things you describe for your kids. All I can tell you is to keep doing what you are and that you haven't failed until you give up! Use the scriptures and Heavenly Father's dealings with HIS children as your example. Easier said than done. And don't forget to laugh. And getting advice and suggestions from friends is right on....love, me.

Kim L. said...

And THAT is why I LOVE YOU so much. YOU GET IT! Many moms just CHUG through motherhood day after day doing what is easiest. NOT MY BEX! You feel the weight of your calling and understand the importance of making every day count. You shirk nothing.\"/ LOVE YOU! The guilt of a wasted moment is what motivates you to be the amazing woman and mother you are. You will forever be one of my heros. PS... you will always be my Betty Crocker/Martha Stewart hero as well.... I knew I could trust your cookies, so the kids and I whipped some up today. YUMMMMMMMMMM! I knew I could count on you.\"/