I have not had a funk for a good year and a half. But today I'm having one with a vengeance. This morning I wrote two of my best friends the sappiest, most pathetic emails you can imagine. I could write a half dozen more without breaking a sweat. I. Miss. My. Friends.
And I miss AMERICANS, people. Stand-offish, messy-housed, extravagant spending, stuck-up AMERICANS.
I miss Target.
Convenience foods and drive-thrus.
Wide streets and PARKING LOTS.
Mexican food. Chinese food. Good sandwiches. Asparagus. Cereal. REAL milk. Sour cream. Salsa. Marshmallows. Buying foods in bulk.
Buying ANY food from around the world out of season - and it still tastes good.
Watching television without my finger on the remote ready to switch at the first pornography that pops up.
Not being horrified when my young women tell me about (another) friend who's pregnant at 13. Or the kids who tried to sell drugs to them today. And so on and so forth.
Not feeling guilty that I have a college education and a nice house when all my friends dream of owning a microwave.
I miss American mommies. Not having to explain that my kids take naps and have bedtimes. Not being embarrassed that my kid wasn't potty-trained at ONE. Not rolling my eyes when they tell me my kid must be freezing in a onesie. (It's 100 degrees out, lady.) Not feeling defensive when I don't give in to my kid whenever he asks for candy and for using TIME OUTS. (I don't know how many times I've been told I'm a horrible mother.)
I love Brazil. I really do. It will be, in a word, excruciating to leave. I'm sure I will have Brazilian funks once we move back to the States.
But right now, I just wanna go home.
Have you ever loved two things so fiercely, but can't have them both?