No worries - My Man is still my man, and Zanessa is still going strong; the tween population has no need to hyperventilate. It's just that his face is on my ceiling. And walls. And above the mirror. And even on the floor.
During my stay here at Hotel Mom n Pop, my room was previously occupied by my thirteen-year-old sister. The accommodations are pleasant, the bed comfortable, Twilight within easy reach and Jonas Brothers CDs galore. Stacks of Twist magazines double as excellent footrests and amusing reading. ("OMG! Like, Joe Jonas TOTALLY dug Taylor Swift's concert and it looks like he's her new BF! Swoon!" And I'm not even kidding.)
My little sis knows the birthdays, pet names, shoe size and astrological signs (as well as compatibilities) of every star on the Disney channel. She has all the lyrics from High School Musical memorized - and could probably recite the "pop ups" that accompany the music videos as well.
It's common knowledge in our household that if you want to call my sister for dinner, you better either send electromagnetic waves to secretly disable her iPod or undergo a stealth operation to remove her headphones. This mission is reserved for only the top field agents, since they're superglued to her ears.
Her friends are the same way. She is so normal in this regard you may wonder why I'm mentioning it at all.
It's probably because I wasn't like that.
The very first CD I bought was Ace of Base of "I Saw the Sign" non-fame. I was fourteen. I then proceeded to fill my CD case with music 'everyone else listened to.' I actually listened to about half of it. Maybe. When my parents called me for dinner, they just stood at the bottom of the stairs and yelled. Shocking, I know.
I remember studying the words to Barenaked Ladies so that I could sing along with my friends. (Chickity china - the chinese chicken - have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin' ....) I vividly remember my friends dragging me to see Titanic for the first time - and having no idea who was in it. Afterwards, I made "I love Leo" montages out of newspaper and magazine clippings .... because my friends did. Because it was expected of me. Because that was what I was supposed to do. I was a follower all the way through high school, until I finally discovered who I was and was comfortable with it.
And now I look at my sister, who has already been to concerts (I was a senior in high school before I went to my first concert - and almost peed my pants at the heady maturity of it), is a music connoisseur, and knows more about celebrity gossip than the celebrities.
So what's the deal? Is it because I was the oldest and she the youngest? Is it "just kids these days?" Or am I just inescapably uncool? I have always been so out of it as far as trends are concerned.
Confession. Never seen Lost. Or The Office - even one episode. I don't even KNOW what shows I'm missing.
Yup. Definitely uncool.