Monday, February 9, 2009

Consistency

I am the world's most committed on-and-off exerciser.

I don't think I've ever exercised every day for more than two months in a row; I've also never gone more than two months in a row WITHOUT exercising.


Is that a check box on the doctor's questionaire?


Mr. Squishy is now eight months old. This came as quite a shock to me. That means he's almost NINE months old. NINE, people. It took me nine months for my body to blow up like a balloon, and I gave myself nine months to deflate. But I'm decidedly more squishy than he is.


Actually, I have lost all my baby weight. But my BODY ain't back. My legs are okay - I actually have the much-coveted space between my thighs. I like it. But my thunder thighs seem to have migrated upwards to my previously hourglass shape. I am now rectangular. My waist has DISAPPEARED. Is it possible to defy gravity? Cuz I just have. I used to be quite bottom heavy, but I've turned apple. I'm very conscious of my Santa belly, and my arms are very biceptuous as well. But not in a good way.


I'm a runner in general. Running is free and the most time-effective. No equipment. No driving anywhere. I do like the occasional Pilates, but I get sick of the same videos very easily.


The alarm goes off at 6AM and I debate with myself for a good twenty minutes whether or not I'm going to hit the pavement. (Or the cobblestone, to be exact.) I have to convince myself that it would be better for my body to exercise as opposed to sleeping another hour. Sometimes the pillow puts up an excellent argument.


But let's assume for today's illustration that my running shoes won. I slip on the contacts (running in glasses is ZERO FUN) and my bee-u-tiful running pants that are two inches above my ankle. My favorite sports bra is bright blue and was a present from a friend at Girls Camp with "Who dat? Becky J!" written in puffy paint. I pray that it doesn't rain.


The first third of my run is spent wishing the pillow won the fight. Every muscle in my body is protesting, and I'm breathing embarrasingly loud for the pace that I'm going. Who do you think you're kidding? You can't RUN. You run like a duck.


My hands are permanently forming the "thumbs up" position and my right arm punches the air in time to my feet, which splay out. I'm extremely bouncy. I run like Seinfeld's Elaine.


But the second third of the run is awesome. I'm warmed up. I realize that, not only CAN I run, I run AWESOME. I might even enter a 5K. Or a marathon. Or something. Visions of Skinny Me keep me going - graciously giving advice to wannabes and perhaps accepting the award for Hottest Mom on the Block. Maybe a TV appearance.


The last third of the way, I'm trying to figure out a shortcut home.


The trouble with exercising in the morning, though, is that you feel at liberty to eat what you want throughout the day. Sure, I'll have another cookie. I mean, I DID go running today.


Now, THAT'S worth all the trouble.

16 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I can't exercise in the morning. I have been making myself do the elliptical at night, and I can watch TV while doing it! I hope I have more motivation in the future.

Katrina said...

Other than walks, I haven't exercised since sometime in my 6th or 7th month of pregnancy. My baby is 6 months old! I quickly lost the weight I gained, but my body is NOT at all the same. I am SQUISHY! I really should at least start doing some crunches.

Lara said...

I say good for you! And, my body has all redistributed itself like that, too. My belly wasn't so bad after the first two, but the third one just did a number on it. And I am now applefied, too.

Annette Lyon said...

That's part of my problem right there--if I exercise, I do eat worse and justify it.

I also have exertion-induced headaches, so exercise scares me. Saturday I did a 2-mile run on the treadmill and was laid out with a migraine afterward for 8 hours.

But I ROCKED during those two miles, I tell ya.

(I no longer have a waist, either. But I think I hide that fact pretty well.)

Ruth said...

I can't believe you've never gone 2 months without exercising. I definitely cannot say that for myself. We live in NYC, so I try to justify myself, saying that I walk a lot, so it's okay that I don't ever work out... Still, I can't shake the thought that I should be building good habits for the future.

Mommadj5 said...

Instead of thinking "I ran today I can eat the cookie" - think - "why WASTE the run today by eating the cookie?" Yea, I know - the impossible dream...the cookie calls and one must answer...LOVE the pictures in the mattress blog - forgot to say....

Becky said...

I'm a rectangle, too. So sad. But I'm more of an off-and-off exerciser. Is that bad?

wonder woman said...

I have always been a rectangle, and have NEVER had space between my thighs. Even as a teenager! And I was not fat as a teenager. I like to think it's because I'm short.

I think it's awesome that you have SOME form of consistency. I have never exercised with any regularity. I take that back. this summer a friend and I walked 2 miles every morning. We did it for about 2 months. That's the most I've ever exercised. Now that it's cold we don't walk.....but I ache for some kind of exercise!! I want a gym membership or an elliptical or treadmill or Wii Fit or something!!!

Tessa Nelson said...

That is sooo funny... I think the same way! I really, really got into running last summer, lost a lot of weight... and then I quit - the cold, gulbladder removed... and now it's all back on and I don't run anymore:-( AND.. I don't have any kids to blame it on!! lol.. Love how you write!

kiwibabee said...

my baby is now 4 and I am asked all the time when the baby is due.....I am not very good about exercise, I can imagine doing it, but I can't get myself to physically do it.

Jody Blue said...

It is actually good to be inconsistantly consistant about exersize. It tricks your body and reboots your metabolism. I was a 5 day a week work out woman until I was injured on the job last april.
Needlest to say the only exersizes I now do are for physical therapy. I look so forward to doing the real stuff again! Have fun and enjoy the redistribution process!

Rachel said...

Oh, you are so much better than me. The pillow ALWAYS wins! No exceptions. Someday. . . someday

Francesca said...

i used to go to the gym and pound the treadmill every day or every other day. I ran until i was 5 months pregnant and it began to hurt. that was 2 years ago and i haven't run since. I keep telling myself i should. I am unfit and it would be so good for my lungs and my general mood. How do we motivate ourselves to get running again?? maybe we should form a virtual runners group?....

Deb said...

Yikes. I can't exercise in the morning either.

Annie Valentine said...

I called my girlfriend at 5:30 and cried wolf. There are some days I just can't do it.

And anyone with space between their thighs cannot be considered squishy.

Harmony said...

The "Who Dat Becky J" sports bra sounds eerily familiar. I wonder if I was the one that made it for you once upon a time... If so, I'm totally flattered that a piece of clothing I touched is worn for exercize!

Remember when we used to get up BEFORE seminary and jog around the neighborhood? At like 4:15 in the morning? WHAT WERE WE THINKING?