There is no beating around the bush. No politically correct garbage here, thankyouverymuch! You will not find "pleasingly plump," or "slightly chubby," or even "nicely filled out." If you're fat, you're fat. And they tell you. They might even refuse to serve you second helpings at lunch, telling you that a diet is in order. It's been done.
I've kinda gotten used to people calling me gordinha - or 'little fat one' (I still prefer squishy.) It doesn't help that Brazilians are naturally short and thin. I'm simply gartantuan in comparison. I generally go to the plus size department when looking for clothes, and I've given up looking for shoes. (I'm a size 6 and 8 1/2, respectably.)
So I'm actually not posting about the whole fat thing. I'm over it. It's the AGE thing that's really irking me today.
Everyone thinks I'm sixteen.
Of course, I'm constantly walking around with three young'uns ages four and under. So the comments I get are somewhat humorous:
"Oh, honey, don't waste your childhood. You've got your whole life ahead of you."
"Your oldest is four? Have you been menstruating that long?"
"Your husband should be charged with statuatory rape."
Okay, not that last one, but BASICALLY.
I should add that these are always perfect strangers telling me that I'm too young to have three kids. Oh, REALLY! Dang it.
But let's just say, hypothetically, that I really AM sixteen years old. I would feel extremely sorry for myself, being constantly harrassed about being a teenage mom. I mean, give Hypothetical Me a break already. Move on with life. There are plenty of other things to talk about.
Of course, the whole Age Thang has always been a sore point with me. I get it in the States too. One time I was at work when a customer came in, took one look at me, and promptly scolded me for not being in (high) school. I calmly (I think) informed her that I was a college graduate. Another time I got a free prize on an airplane for being "fourteen and under." I was twenty-one at the time. I've also been confused for my younger brother's girlfriend - eight years my junior.
So how 'bout it, bloggers? How old do you think I am?
Is it possible I really do look my age and everyone is just trying to pay me what they think is a compliment? I dunno. I, for one, would LOVE to look ten years older. I love my birthday - I love watching my age creep respectably higher. I cannot wait to look like I should be ABLE to have three young children. (Although I guess they won't be YOUNG by then ....)
And why is it that my birth control plans are open to public criticism, anyway? People constantly telling me that not only am I too young to have children, but that they're too close together and I'm crazy for having three boys. (Cuz I TOTALLY planned that. Duh.)
I love the comments on the age spread, too (4 1/2, 2 1/2 and 1/2, bytheway):
"Wow! You're one brave lady!"
"What, are you suicidal?"
"Don't you know the earth's natural resources are running out?"
"Are you a sucker for pain or something?"
and my personal favorite:
"You guys need a TV or something."
Because yes. My husband and I have only made love three times in our entire marriage.
Anything else ya wanna know, O