Monday, March 9, 2009

From my cave to yours

Sometimes I think I'd do well as a hermit.

I like people, don't get me wrong, I just also really like holing up in my little house-cave sometimes. I like wearing junkie clothes all day and just chilling with my kids. It's fun.

The problem comes in the form of socially-active Brazilians. Ya know in those old Southern movies where all the ladies are sipping lemonade on the porch, and people just "drop by"? And they'd get all dressed up to go "visiting"?

Enter Brazil.

In many ways, I love it. It reminds me of my college days, when you went over to your friend's house Just Because. You didn't need a reason. You just showed up. Unfortunately, as we grow older and get husbands and kids and Things To Do, the habit gets dropped. I think Americans are just very task-oriented. We're not anti-social; just busy. We are appointment-only kind of friends.

So it took some getting used to when my house soon developed a revolving door policy. Someone is ALWAYS OVER. Usually unannounced, and for no reason whatsoever. Just to chat, visit, "matar saudades," or what have you.

This translates to mean my house (at least the "visible" parts - the bedrooms are another story) is always visitor ready. And we always have cake. (Because that's part of the visit.)

Nine times out of ten, I open the door with a smile on my face. I love my friends, and I love shootin' the breeze with them, just enjoying their company and hanging out together.

And then there are days where I just really want to take a nap. (Or blog.)

Now excuse me - there's someone at the door.

19 comments:

Nikki said...

I hopped over here from Shanna's blog. That's really interesting about the social habits of Brazilians. Sounds nice. But I could also VERY much relate to wanting time alone- that will not be interrupted. We have some friends that stop by like that unannounced- with their three kids. And it's usually an enjoyable time. But I'm also usually embarrassed at the state of the house.

So anyways, I think maybe living in Brazil is what my house needs. lol Just knowing anyone could drop by any second would help me keep a cleaner home.

Shelley said...

I will just say I'm proud of you for letting the revolving door revolve. I've been running like mad the last few weeks, and I truly would love a lay around day myself.
But....I love when there are people out there who just visit for no reason. We ARE way to appointment oriented. We really should just stop and smell the roses, or cake as it were. I wish you were closer and I'd stop by for some cake. I never make cake.

Kimberly said...

I am such a hermit by nature so I love living on a once acre parcel of land in a rural area. Nobody just drops by around here.

Then again...some days it gets a bit lonely...

That's probably why I blog...

Katrina said...

I'm totally the same way. Since getting married and especially since having a baby, I have become more and more of a homebody. This winter I went days at a time without going outside. It's kinda funny to me because I have always been a fairly social person and I really do enjoy being with people. I guess now that I have a husband and a kid, I don't feel like a loser if I just stay home.

Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

Might not be Brazilians- as somone related to a lot of Bishops- it could be that as much as anything-

I know the (5) bishops in our family always had people stopping by any day of the week, any time- almost like they forget that Bishops are people too- and have families of their very own :)

SO said...

I would love this and hate it at the same time. I think it would drive my husband batty! I love having people over just to visit but I know I would be frustrated because I wouldn't be able to accomplish the stuff I had planned to do for the day. Like sitting around in my bathrobe blogging.

Melanie J said...

This would be great for me since the only reason I ever clean my house is when someone else might see it. I think my husband would be very, very happy if we lived in Brazil.

Kati said...

Hi! I found your blog through the Mormon Mommy site and LOVE it! Thanks for sharing all your interesting experiences - and fantastic writing - with the rest of us.

Debbie said...

Once people get to my house, I am happy to have them. But, I don't always look forward to it before!

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I am a total hermit although I do enjoy socializing when I'm out. Our phone is off the hook right now because I'm feeling especially hermity today and don't even want to talk to people. ;o)

wonder woman said...

Today my house is ready for company but I am not. (It's usually the other way around.) I definately schedule socializations, but I miss those college days when you just went somewhere whenever you felt like it.

Enjoy your cake.

Mommadj5 said...

Why do we feel like our home always has to be "company ready?" I do remember feeling that way when I was a "young mom" (don't mean to be patronizing)but I have FINALLY outgrown this! If someone wants to "stop by" (seemed to happen more frequently when Becky lived at home :-)!)then they get my house and me the way I am!! Love the company, love the visit - DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR THE HOUSE!!! We are all in the same boat anyway and most friends love to realize that you are just like them! However I clean like crazy when one of the still-at-home kids are having a party or your Dad and I are having guests. Sometimes I invite people over on purpose just to motivate me to REALLY clean! How sad is that?

Trina said...

Crashing in from MMB. Congrats. Your blog reminded me of a story about Sister Hinckley. She never apologized for the shape of her home if someone dropped by. She didn't care if they saw the pbj sandwich smeared on the wall or her unvacuumed carpets. I've always been impressed by that. Maybe a combination of her and the Brazilians is what we all need.lol.

Feel free to crash my blog anytime (browning dirt).

Kazzy said...

I am a pretty social person, but when I am home I like my own time. I REALLY LIKE my won time. So I can relate. But this garage culture we have here, where people pull right into their garages, close the door, and forget there are neighbors can be brutal.

The Motherboard said...

It would force me to be more organized... and clean. I think I would like it. Usually. Except when I didn't. Then I wouldn't.

Real Mom, Real Life said...

I don't think I would do too well there -- maybe with the cake part. But having my house visitor friendly?? Always? I just want to keep the pizza off the floor. I am working on it though. We always have people dropping by and I am always apologizing for the latest mess.

Kim (Davis) Loudon said...

Love these comments. I am JUST now learning to LET THINGS GO, and not be HUMILIATED by my house when people "stop in". I am just starting to gain confidence in who I AM, and what my priorities are...cleaning not being one of them...and really not take much value in what "people" think. I actually go as far as to PURPOSEFULLY leave my house a disaster and not dress for the occasion when I invite a new friend over. I find it's easier for me to be myself, and others to be themselves back... they feel more comfortable...and don't feel they have to pretend everything is PERFECT in their lives...and they don't feel the need to make their house look spotless when I come. Those friendships are more "real".
I like having people over...SOMETIMES it is fun when people just STOP BY, but I have become fairly structured in what happens in my day... in order to be sure the MOST important things get accomplished...ie: family prayer/ scripture study, exercise, etc... when people "pop" over unannounced, it can mess the rest of the day up...and my kids get gypped. I am really focused on prioritizing and moderation...once the "best" priorities get accomplished, we move on to some "better" things that are different each day to break up the monotony and have fun while accomplishing a few menial tasks. I guess it just depends on WHEN people stop in. If it is in the morning, my whole day is SHOT. If it is after nap time, every PRIORITY has already been accomplished, and we are just having fun...bring on the party. Just DON'T SCREW WITH MY MORNING.\"/

janae said...

That would be SOOOO hard for me. I pretty much never want to be alone. Okay, maybe for an hour twice a year or so. (Kids are wonderful for that reason alone! :) BUT I am a scheduler, so if you just pop in you can throw off my whole day. I'm so glad I'm not in your shoes today!

Natalie said...

I think that would be hard for me too. I think I could get used to it though. I'm not anti-social. I love people. I just like to stay in my pj's and blog too much.